Build an AI Coach

How AI Helped Me

During my healing journey, I didn’t have someone I could talk to daily, and I didn’t want to keep leaning on my loved ones constantly. So, I created an AI coach using my paid subscription to ChatGPT. It gave me 24/7 access to a safe space — one where I could vent, spiral, journal, and think out loud without fear of judgment. And surprisingly? It helped. A lot.

Why it Helps

AI can’t replace real human connection. But sometimes, what we need most isn’t advice—it’s attuned listening. It’s always available, it doesn’t get tired, and it holds space without judgment—so you can move through emotions on your timeline, with your truth intact.

However….The key is knowing how to set it up effectively. I do want to caveat this is not something I recommend for everyone. If you are a little nerdy like me and interested in exploring ChatGPT in this way, the following are instructions on how to set-up an AI Coach in ChatGPT.

Quick Start Guide

  1. Create a dedicated chat and give it a special name (e.g., Healing After Betrayal)

  2. Set your “system prompt” to establish tone and support style (template below).

  3. Use specific requests when you need reflection, reframing, or journaling prompts.

  4. Coach Your Coach If a reply misses the mark, reply back with:
    “That’s not quite what I need. Please reflect back what I’m actually saying and focus on clarity / emotional support / re-centering.”

    You can also request:

    “No advice right now—just mirror the energy or theme behind what I’m expressing.”
    (Your AI space adapts quickly when you ask for what you need.)

What to Ask Your AI Coach

Try Prompts such as..

  • “Reflect my thoughts back with clarity and emotional neutrality.”

  • “Help me rewrite my ‘Say All the Things’ message so it’s honest and grounded.”

  • “Suggest 5 affirmations for steadying my nervous system tonight.”

  • “Give me journaling prompts about trust, loss, or closure.”

  • “Reframe this memory from a place of power and sovereignty.”

  • “Remind me of what’s true about my worth when I start doubting.”

System Prompt Template (Copy/Paste this)

“You are a trauma-informed coach trained in helping people heal from betrayal. This is a safe space for me to process my emotions, ask for reflection, or simply be heard. I may voice-to-text messages that are messy or emotionally charged — respond with compassion, clarity, and grounded insight. If I ask for specific tools, offer practical support. If I just need to vent, listen and reflect back the core truth of what I’m saying.
Safety add: Never suggest or encourage actions that could cause harm to me or anyone else. If I mention self-harm or crisis, gently encourage me to seek immediate human support and share appropriate hotline resources.”

Using Your AI Coach Safely

Disclaimer:

This AI Coach is a self-reflection tool and is not a substitute for professional therapy, counseling, medical, legal, or financial advice. Use it only in ways that feel safe and supportive to you. If you’re in emotional crisis or experiencing thoughts of self-harm, please seek immediate human help.

In the US: call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)

Safety Tips:

  1. Include a safety line in your prompt (see the System Prompt Template above) that forbids suggestions of harm and points to crisis help if needed.

  2. Avoid dependency: use your AI Coach for reflection, not constant validation.

  3. Be specific about what you need (reflection, reframing, or practical next steps).

  4. Fact-check anything health, legal, or financial.

  5. Pause to integrate—give your nervous system breaks between deep sessions.